Our Story

The Beginnings

2000 AD. The dawn of a new millennium. “Y2K”, many believed, would be the end of humanity entirely, but for one man, this hallowed year ushered in an entirely new beginning.

Bagre Weiner stared out across a desolate field of dirt while the overbearing Central Florida sun beat down upon his brow. Unbeknownst to him, Mr. Weiner was standing upon the precipice of a Fortune 500 company, but all he saw for now was mud and bugs. Mr. Weiner soon set about building himself a humble little abode, made of old plywood and rusty nails. After a few months of toiling away in the brutal Florida heat, the first structure of what would become DILK Ranch was erected. It was a modest shack, but it would keep the rain and the wind out, and that was good enough for him. Next came the barn, and then the kennels, until finally after a year of hard work, DILK Ranch had completed its first phase.

When the ranch was finally at a point of his liking, and ready to house the dogs that would eventually build his empire, Mr. Weiner drove his dusty old pick-up truck into the nearby town to procure some succulent canines ripe enough for milking. As he entered the town, he happened to stop at a run down old gas station where many of the locals lazily loitered about. “Here”, he hoped; Here he might enquire where to find a fine stock of dogs. He sauntered towards the door of the establishment when a sound emanating from the rear of the building caught his ear. The faint yelp of a dog. Mr. Weiner quietly crept around the building, peering around the corner at the scene that unfolded before him. A young man, in his early twenties or so, was feeding a large block of cheese to a set of three mangy dogs. Once the dogs finished gnawing at the block, the young man knelt down beside one, taking a cloudy glass from his pocket and holding it underneath the tallest of the animals. A beautiful pearly white fluid began to fill the cup all the way to the top. When Bagre witnessed that, he knew he had found his first employee. That young man’s name was DeMonkus Holzer.